Apartment Hunting

So I've decided to hunt for a new apartment. To get started, I went to the sporting goods store to pick up some camouflage, a rifle with a scope, and an apartment call. The place had a bunch of camouflage, but they said I'd have to wait a week for a background check before I could get the gun. I was a bit upset about this, so I told them which of their vertebrae I would like to stick a long knife with poison on it. I should be able to pick my deadly gun up on Tuesday.

As for a proper hunting ground, I was originally thinking of simply selecting a place in New Jersey, but my Growth Group strongly recommended that I instead hunt closer to work. Good apartments are evasive, but I should be able to shoot one down as soon as I get my gun.

The only problem is where to mount the head...I might have to find a new place to live.

Oh, and shout out to my (biological) brother, who is 12 years old today. The (biological) family says he'll get taller than me, but I personally don't think it'll happen. He's growing too much too young, and will burn out by the time he's a teenager.

Belts and Ideal Hair Length

As much fun as it is to see the number on the (I suspect) malfunctioning scale decrease, having to wear a belt to keep my pants up is anything but. I don't like belts, and I don't like my underwear showing, and I definitely don't like the idea of buying a new pair of jeans, especially since I got a pair only a few weeks ago. Twenty-five more pounds and I drop under the bicentennial mark.

Now on to hair. As everyone has no doubt noticed, every has a certain length of hair that looks the best, although plenty of people have two or more distinctly different lengths that are equally swell. Two days ago I noticed that I have reached the Ideal Hair Length, and now I am entering the mode of anxiety that comes with knowing that in a matter of weeks my hair will be too long for its own good, and I'll have to start brushing it again! I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME, PEOPLE!!

Simpsons Avatar

This is the best thing in the whole world.

I get sick about once a year

This year it happens to be in July. I can't be sure what brought it about, although I have suspicions about a place I went to that had 99 cent breakfast. I'm not sure what it actually is, but the symptoms are sore throat, excessive mucus, and a general low amount of energy.

It didn't help at all that the entire country decided to have a heat wave at this time, which made my room literally too hot to sleep in for most of the time. That means that over the last four or five days I've gotten about 10-12 total hours of sleep.

I am of course at work right now. I walked to work in the pouring rain, and I got thoroughly drenched. My clothes might be mostly dry by the time I go home, and assuming I get home at the usual time I will have gone over 24 hours since I woke up yesterday. Again.

Perhaps people were never meant to live here; perhaps New York belongs to the tourists and robots.

Moral of the Story

Today, or rather a few hours ago yesterday, I learned a strange and important lesson in one of the most direct ways I ever have. Over the last couple of days I've been feeling very unhappy, which is somewhat odd as I am usually either a manic gigglebox or a stoic observer of the world around me. The bad part is that I was feeding myself more unhappiness, to the point where I had basically hypnotised myself into believing that I had been perpetually unhappy throughout my entire stay in this time zone. And it was just at the point where I was ready to just give up entirely and retreat to whatever safe little hole I could find that I get a phone call out of the blue from Anna Maloney. I make a move that is odd for me when I'm feeling down and be honest with her, and suddenly I am almost literally bombarded with words of encouragement (you know, the kind that are actually encouraging).

I would have found it hilarious had I not been awed at the transformation a few words invoked. I mean here I am with a problem I don't quite understand and the things I need to hear appear magically in my ear. It is reassuring that weeks of disquiet can be dispelled by ten minutes of honest affirmation.

I'm not sure if Anna reads this blog, so I'll probably have to find a more direct way to thank her (incidentally, I'm not sure anyone reads this blog, not that I can blame anyone because I wouldn't read it either).