Liquored Up Celebrity Strippers

Just one of the many things that I have never encountered in my entire life, let alone on my birthday. Said birthday was on the 20th, and consisted entirely of me eating a bit of food, going to buy a video game, going home, playing the game for a bit, and then falling asleep, waking up only to find it was too late to do anything more worthwhile.

The next day was a bit less of a drag. At my growth group meeting Rebecca, the leader of the group, went out and bought donuts, a bag of chips, and some Coca Cola. It was hardly what could be called a party, but it was a lot more fun than my 20th birthday party, which never happened at all (unless you count the haircut I got).

The whole experience has awakened a long-dormant desire for more donuts. As I write this I fight the urge to buy some Crispy Cremes.

Insomnia

Wednesday, August 1, at approx. 12:00 pm ET I woke up. I have yet to fall asleep since. This currently puts me at 61.5 hours. Now, I have gone through a full week with only a few hours of sleep each day, but I do believe this is the longest I have ever gone with no sleep whatsoever. Now this isn't to say that I have been up, active, and engaged with the world around me this whole time, for I have indeed had lay down and hope I fall asleep time.

Truth be told, I can't be entirely certain that this is insomnia, because it could very well be something else that just pretends to be insomnia and is doing a really good job. I have a bit of a morbid curiosity about how long I can go before I start to crack (my bet is a full week), but it is probably best that I not encourage it.

In conclusion, I blame global warming.

Apartment Hunting

So I've decided to hunt for a new apartment. To get started, I went to the sporting goods store to pick up some camouflage, a rifle with a scope, and an apartment call. The place had a bunch of camouflage, but they said I'd have to wait a week for a background check before I could get the gun. I was a bit upset about this, so I told them which of their vertebrae I would like to stick a long knife with poison on it. I should be able to pick my deadly gun up on Tuesday.

As for a proper hunting ground, I was originally thinking of simply selecting a place in New Jersey, but my Growth Group strongly recommended that I instead hunt closer to work. Good apartments are evasive, but I should be able to shoot one down as soon as I get my gun.

The only problem is where to mount the head...I might have to find a new place to live.

Oh, and shout out to my (biological) brother, who is 12 years old today. The (biological) family says he'll get taller than me, but I personally don't think it'll happen. He's growing too much too young, and will burn out by the time he's a teenager.

Belts and Ideal Hair Length

As much fun as it is to see the number on the (I suspect) malfunctioning scale decrease, having to wear a belt to keep my pants up is anything but. I don't like belts, and I don't like my underwear showing, and I definitely don't like the idea of buying a new pair of jeans, especially since I got a pair only a few weeks ago. Twenty-five more pounds and I drop under the bicentennial mark.

Now on to hair. As everyone has no doubt noticed, every has a certain length of hair that looks the best, although plenty of people have two or more distinctly different lengths that are equally swell. Two days ago I noticed that I have reached the Ideal Hair Length, and now I am entering the mode of anxiety that comes with knowing that in a matter of weeks my hair will be too long for its own good, and I'll have to start brushing it again! I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME, PEOPLE!!

Simpsons Avatar

This is the best thing in the whole world.

I get sick about once a year

This year it happens to be in July. I can't be sure what brought it about, although I have suspicions about a place I went to that had 99 cent breakfast. I'm not sure what it actually is, but the symptoms are sore throat, excessive mucus, and a general low amount of energy.

It didn't help at all that the entire country decided to have a heat wave at this time, which made my room literally too hot to sleep in for most of the time. That means that over the last four or five days I've gotten about 10-12 total hours of sleep.

I am of course at work right now. I walked to work in the pouring rain, and I got thoroughly drenched. My clothes might be mostly dry by the time I go home, and assuming I get home at the usual time I will have gone over 24 hours since I woke up yesterday. Again.

Perhaps people were never meant to live here; perhaps New York belongs to the tourists and robots.

Moral of the Story

Today, or rather a few hours ago yesterday, I learned a strange and important lesson in one of the most direct ways I ever have. Over the last couple of days I've been feeling very unhappy, which is somewhat odd as I am usually either a manic gigglebox or a stoic observer of the world around me. The bad part is that I was feeding myself more unhappiness, to the point where I had basically hypnotised myself into believing that I had been perpetually unhappy throughout my entire stay in this time zone. And it was just at the point where I was ready to just give up entirely and retreat to whatever safe little hole I could find that I get a phone call out of the blue from Anna Maloney. I make a move that is odd for me when I'm feeling down and be honest with her, and suddenly I am almost literally bombarded with words of encouragement (you know, the kind that are actually encouraging).

I would have found it hilarious had I not been awed at the transformation a few words invoked. I mean here I am with a problem I don't quite understand and the things I need to hear appear magically in my ear. It is reassuring that weeks of disquiet can be dispelled by ten minutes of honest affirmation.

I'm not sure if Anna reads this blog, so I'll probably have to find a more direct way to thank her (incidentally, I'm not sure anyone reads this blog, not that I can blame anyone because I wouldn't read it either).

Victory thy name is Anthony

Like all logical people, I admit that Tetris is the greatest game ever created. While I do not believe myself a true expert, I nonetheless always took a bit of pride whenever I got past level 11, especially when I made my record of level 14. In recent years I found myself diminishing, unable to reach what I could once achieve. I feared that my gaming skills were rotting away.

Tonight, however, those fears were destroyed like a 4 x 10 stack of bricks vanishing into points. Tonight I got the following results: Score 140884, Level 18. Lines 189.

I am so happy, I'm going to have dinner to celebrate (yes, I don't always have dinner).

In New York they're called Growth Groups

You know, as apposed to Small Groups. Yesterday was my first one, as part of my becomming more intertwined with The Journey. I was partially terrified, believing that I would be the only stranger among a bunch of people and it would be very awkward for me, but the reality was quite different.

The first thing was that very few people showed up for the first meeting. Five, to be exact. I can remember three of their names (but in all fairness one them is me). The second thing is that out of the five people who showed up, only one was a veteran. The rest of us had only started going to the Journey within the last month. Third, instead of awkwardness I managed to get quite a few laughs with my humorous...ness. One guy described my humor as comparable to The Simpsons, and then quickly clarified that he meant the older, better stuff. The new crap I occasionally see is, well, crap.

Of course I was the youngest, but that seems to be a regular thing for me. Someday, though, I shall be the old man! Mwa.

Possible Strike

So I'm at work going through my mail folder (because there isn't enough room for me to have an actual box) and I come across a SPECIAL ALERT from the desk of my union's International President, Mr. Robert A. Scardelletti. By the way my union is TCU, the Transportation Communications International Union.

Apparently for the last seven years or so Amtrak has been holding out on us, and owe me and my unseen coworkers some new contract. Because we aren't getting what we (they) want, Mr. Scardelletti is getting ready to get us to strike against Amtrak (the socialist railroad).

Crime pays around $13

So it is about 10:00 pm and I am walking back to my attic apartment from Burger King when I walk past a bunch of teenagers (five of them I think) dressed rather gangstaly, two of them holding sticks. Immediately afterwards they turn around and start following me, asking me to give them money. Then they surround me, and one of them shows me his gun and says something to the effect that they are to be taken seriously. I ponder the situation for a moment, and then say something to the effect of "If you want the money that badly..." and pull out my wallet and give one of them all the cash in it (one 5 and seven to nine 1's.) One of them snatches my wallet from my hand, so I snatch it back because there is no way I'm letting them have my check card. The one with the gun holds it against the back of my head. I can feel my heart pounding and I realize I just might die. Then one of them seems to get a bit of common sense and calls the others off, telling me to just go. I of course do

Suddenly I'm not so keen on living in New Jersey anymore.

Though that was probably the worst day of my entire life, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for: I didn't die or get injured, I didn't kill or injure the kids that robbed me, I managed to get away without losing my wallet and all the important things inside of it, and now I have a very good reason not to go out to eat late at night. I mean who knows, this traumatic experience might end up saving me money in the long run.

Not terribly proud of it, but I do really hope those punks reap what they sew. Maybe lung cancer at 19 or something.

A recent post

Well, I suppose now is as good a time as ever to write about my life since moving to New York (although I suppose two or three months ago would have been better).

I will start out by saying that life is pretty decent for me out here. I don't have financial woes of any sort, and I have little trouble getting to where I need or want to go. A major negative of my life are the fact that having my job, in addition to living a 1.5 hour commute away from it means I have little to no free time except on my days off. However, those are also a problem because I work the night shift and am thus acclimated to sleeping while the rest of society does things. This, combined with a severe lack of quality television leaves me incredibly bored. My best bet is going to a movie right after I wake up.

Social-wise I am not so well off. With my busy schedule of work, sleep, and occasionally eating working alongside my reserved nature I have yet to make any friends. I suspect this could someday change, however. I have recently started attending a new church that bears a number of similarities to The Rock (they even have a series starting next week called God on Film), and in a week or two I'll be having my first meeting in one of their "Growth Groups". My chances of hitting my head on a ceiling fixture are pretty good.

Speaking of eating, apparently I am doing a lot less of it, as I have lost around 25 pounds since moving here. As I am currently lacking freezer or refridgerator space, I can't effectivly grocery shop and thus must eat out a great deal. I am planning on purchasing a mini-fridge to circumvent this.

My job itself is horribly dull and unengaging; the only plus is that I have time to write blog entries like this one. Officially my job is to enter data into the computer system concerning mechanical defects on the Amtrak train cars, but this takes up perhaps twenty minutes of my ten hour shift (four days a week). I also end up helping my supervisors make stuff in Excel, though sadly it never involves actual functions.

In conclusion, taxes suck.

Looks like I don't need a new hobby!

You Are 40% Nerdy

You're a little nerdy, but no one would ever call you a nerd.You sometimes get into nerdy things, but only after they've become a part of mainstream culture.

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