Liquored Up Celebrity Strippers

Just one of the many things that I have never encountered in my entire life, let alone on my birthday. Said birthday was on the 20th, and consisted entirely of me eating a bit of food, going to buy a video game, going home, playing the game for a bit, and then falling asleep, waking up only to find it was too late to do anything more worthwhile.

The next day was a bit less of a drag. At my growth group meeting Rebecca, the leader of the group, went out and bought donuts, a bag of chips, and some Coca Cola. It was hardly what could be called a party, but it was a lot more fun than my 20th birthday party, which never happened at all (unless you count the haircut I got).

The whole experience has awakened a long-dormant desire for more donuts. As I write this I fight the urge to buy some Crispy Cremes.

Apartment Hunting

So I've decided to hunt for a new apartment. To get started, I went to the sporting goods store to pick up some camouflage, a rifle with a scope, and an apartment call. The place had a bunch of camouflage, but they said I'd have to wait a week for a background check before I could get the gun. I was a bit upset about this, so I told them which of their vertebrae I would like to stick a long knife with poison on it. I should be able to pick my deadly gun up on Tuesday.

As for a proper hunting ground, I was originally thinking of simply selecting a place in New Jersey, but my Growth Group strongly recommended that I instead hunt closer to work. Good apartments are evasive, but I should be able to shoot one down as soon as I get my gun.

The only problem is where to mount the head...I might have to find a new place to live.

Oh, and shout out to my (biological) brother, who is 12 years old today. The (biological) family says he'll get taller than me, but I personally don't think it'll happen. He's growing too much too young, and will burn out by the time he's a teenager.

I get sick about once a year

This year it happens to be in July. I can't be sure what brought it about, although I have suspicions about a place I went to that had 99 cent breakfast. I'm not sure what it actually is, but the symptoms are sore throat, excessive mucus, and a general low amount of energy.

It didn't help at all that the entire country decided to have a heat wave at this time, which made my room literally too hot to sleep in for most of the time. That means that over the last four or five days I've gotten about 10-12 total hours of sleep.

I am of course at work right now. I walked to work in the pouring rain, and I got thoroughly drenched. My clothes might be mostly dry by the time I go home, and assuming I get home at the usual time I will have gone over 24 hours since I woke up yesterday. Again.

Perhaps people were never meant to live here; perhaps New York belongs to the tourists and robots.

In New York they're called Growth Groups

You know, as apposed to Small Groups. Yesterday was my first one, as part of my becomming more intertwined with The Journey. I was partially terrified, believing that I would be the only stranger among a bunch of people and it would be very awkward for me, but the reality was quite different.

The first thing was that very few people showed up for the first meeting. Five, to be exact. I can remember three of their names (but in all fairness one them is me). The second thing is that out of the five people who showed up, only one was a veteran. The rest of us had only started going to the Journey within the last month. Third, instead of awkwardness I managed to get quite a few laughs with my humorous...ness. One guy described my humor as comparable to The Simpsons, and then quickly clarified that he meant the older, better stuff. The new crap I occasionally see is, well, crap.

Of course I was the youngest, but that seems to be a regular thing for me. Someday, though, I shall be the old man! Mwa.

Crime pays around $13

So it is about 10:00 pm and I am walking back to my attic apartment from Burger King when I walk past a bunch of teenagers (five of them I think) dressed rather gangstaly, two of them holding sticks. Immediately afterwards they turn around and start following me, asking me to give them money. Then they surround me, and one of them shows me his gun and says something to the effect that they are to be taken seriously. I ponder the situation for a moment, and then say something to the effect of "If you want the money that badly..." and pull out my wallet and give one of them all the cash in it (one 5 and seven to nine 1's.) One of them snatches my wallet from my hand, so I snatch it back because there is no way I'm letting them have my check card. The one with the gun holds it against the back of my head. I can feel my heart pounding and I realize I just might die. Then one of them seems to get a bit of common sense and calls the others off, telling me to just go. I of course do

Suddenly I'm not so keen on living in New Jersey anymore.

Though that was probably the worst day of my entire life, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for: I didn't die or get injured, I didn't kill or injure the kids that robbed me, I managed to get away without losing my wallet and all the important things inside of it, and now I have a very good reason not to go out to eat late at night. I mean who knows, this traumatic experience might end up saving me money in the long run.

Not terribly proud of it, but I do really hope those punks reap what they sew. Maybe lung cancer at 19 or something.