Liquored Up Celebrity Strippers

Just one of the many things that I have never encountered in my entire life, let alone on my birthday. Said birthday was on the 20th, and consisted entirely of me eating a bit of food, going to buy a video game, going home, playing the game for a bit, and then falling asleep, waking up only to find it was too late to do anything more worthwhile.

The next day was a bit less of a drag. At my growth group meeting Rebecca, the leader of the group, went out and bought donuts, a bag of chips, and some Coca Cola. It was hardly what could be called a party, but it was a lot more fun than my 20th birthday party, which never happened at all (unless you count the haircut I got).

The whole experience has awakened a long-dormant desire for more donuts. As I write this I fight the urge to buy some Crispy Cremes.

Apartment Hunting

So I've decided to hunt for a new apartment. To get started, I went to the sporting goods store to pick up some camouflage, a rifle with a scope, and an apartment call. The place had a bunch of camouflage, but they said I'd have to wait a week for a background check before I could get the gun. I was a bit upset about this, so I told them which of their vertebrae I would like to stick a long knife with poison on it. I should be able to pick my deadly gun up on Tuesday.

As for a proper hunting ground, I was originally thinking of simply selecting a place in New Jersey, but my Growth Group strongly recommended that I instead hunt closer to work. Good apartments are evasive, but I should be able to shoot one down as soon as I get my gun.

The only problem is where to mount the head...I might have to find a new place to live.

Oh, and shout out to my (biological) brother, who is 12 years old today. The (biological) family says he'll get taller than me, but I personally don't think it'll happen. He's growing too much too young, and will burn out by the time he's a teenager.

Simpsons Avatar

This is the best thing in the whole world.

Moral of the Story

Today, or rather a few hours ago yesterday, I learned a strange and important lesson in one of the most direct ways I ever have. Over the last couple of days I've been feeling very unhappy, which is somewhat odd as I am usually either a manic gigglebox or a stoic observer of the world around me. The bad part is that I was feeding myself more unhappiness, to the point where I had basically hypnotised myself into believing that I had been perpetually unhappy throughout my entire stay in this time zone. And it was just at the point where I was ready to just give up entirely and retreat to whatever safe little hole I could find that I get a phone call out of the blue from Anna Maloney. I make a move that is odd for me when I'm feeling down and be honest with her, and suddenly I am almost literally bombarded with words of encouragement (you know, the kind that are actually encouraging).

I would have found it hilarious had I not been awed at the transformation a few words invoked. I mean here I am with a problem I don't quite understand and the things I need to hear appear magically in my ear. It is reassuring that weeks of disquiet can be dispelled by ten minutes of honest affirmation.

I'm not sure if Anna reads this blog, so I'll probably have to find a more direct way to thank her (incidentally, I'm not sure anyone reads this blog, not that I can blame anyone because I wouldn't read it either).